i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
