Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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