just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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