Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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