She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
