Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he thought i was a dude.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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