Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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