He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
