she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
