For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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