this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
