So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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