Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
