thus making me awesome and them whores
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
