The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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