If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
