used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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