We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
