Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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