i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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