weddingsv make me drug and hornr
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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