Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
