Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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