Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hippo gnu deer
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I forget how to act sober
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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