ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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