Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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