My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
