I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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