Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
