I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
