don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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