it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
