Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
