She said her name was "party"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
