you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
