and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
