He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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