I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
