you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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