I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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