I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
