My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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