he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
