Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The best revenge is premature balding
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
