my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
