you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
