Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
