Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
