Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
