why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
