what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
